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Golden Lily-Bloodliness#2 - Recenzie

Golden Lily-Bloodliness#2 - Recenzie

Coperta Originală:



Sinopsis:

Sydney Sage is an Alchemist, one of a group of humans who dabble in magic and serve to bridge the worlds of humans and vampires. They protect vampire secrets—and human lives.

Sydney would love to go to college, but instead, she’s been sent into hiding at a posh boarding school in Palm Springs, California–tasked with protecting Moroi princess Jill Dragomir from assassins who want to throw the Moroi court into civil war. Formerly in disgrace, Sydney is now praised for her loyalty and obedience, and held up as the model of an exemplary Alchemist.

But the closer she grows to Jill, Eddie, and especially Adrian, the more she finds herself questioning her age–old Alchemist beliefs, her idea of family, and the sense of what it means to truly belong. Her world becomes even more complicated when magical experiments show Sydney may hold the key to prevent becoming Strigoi—the fiercest vampires, the ones who don’t die. But it’s her fear of being just that—special, magical, powerful—that scares her more than anything. Equally daunting is her new romance with Brayden, a cute, brainy guy who seems to be her match in every way. Yet, as perfect as he seems, Sydney finds herself being drawn to someone else—someone forbidden to her.

When a shocking secret threatens to tear the vampire world apart, Sydney’s loyalties are suddenly tested more than ever before. She wonders how she's supposed to strike a balance between the principles and dogmas she's been taught, and what her instincts are now telling her.

Should she trust the Alchemists—or her heart?


 
Hardcover, 418 pages

Published June 12th 2012 by Razorbill

original title:The Golden Lily

edition language: English




setting: Palm Springs, California (United States)
Recenzie: 

Dacă la sfârşitul cărţii 'Bloodlines' îşi face apariţia dhampirul nostru preferat, de origine rusă... Dimitri, în incipitul 'Golden Lily', Sage face o incursiune în catacombele Alchimiştilor- nu vă mint, am fost puţin şocată atunci când am aflat unde lucrează ei... totuşi pe parcursul călătoriei în acel loc, descoperim încăperi sterile, camere de supraveghiere, gardieni şi un sistem teribil de bine organizat, accentul fiind pus pe cuvântul teribil. Sincer, m-a îngrozit posibilitatea existenţei unei relaţii între Sydney şi Adrian, relaţie ce ar putea fi descoperită de superiorii ei, dar the show must go on, aşadar sunt convinsă că aceasta a fost intenţia scriitoarei- de a înspăimânta cititorul.

În Palm Springs, viaţa continuă, iar mica noastră echipă primeşte cu braţele deschise pe cei mai noi membrii ai ei- Dimitri, Sonia, Angeline- dap, sigur! De fapt, cel mai deranjat de apariţia lor este... pam, pam, pam... Adrian, în special dacă luăm în considerare că el trebuie să lucreze cot la cot cu Boring (Dimitri) şi Scarlet (Sonia), aşadar, bietul nostru Adrian caută orice ocazie ce-l poate elibera de oaspeţii nepoftiţi, inclusiv o călătorie cu maşina împreună cu Sage, pentru a-l vizita pe bătrânul lui.

În acest timp, Sydney se îndrăgosteşte (sau cel puţin aşa crede ea) de Brayden, un băiat drăguţ, inteligent, asemănător cu ea, pe care-l interesează dezbaterile şi discuţiile despre morile de vânt, epuizarea resurselor, etc. Par perechea perfectă la prima vedere, doar că Sydney nu simte atracţia, chimia pe care o dorea.

După acea călătorie inconfortabilă (datorată nepăsării tatălui lui Adrian faţă de situaţia şi sentimentele propriului fiu), Sydney se hotărăşte să-l înveselească, unul dintre primele momente romantice în care ea simte atracţia faţă de Adrian (în mod inconştient, dar o simte), experimentele lui Sonia, Dimitri şi Adrian, nu dau rezultatele dorite, iar stresul începe să-şi spună cuvântul.

Totuşi, un pericol complet diferit de ce se aşteptau prietenii noştri apare ameniţător, un pericol ce implică luarea unor măsuri disperate- astfel Sydney Sage, fata credincioasă ce urăşte magia de orice fel începe să lucreze cu ea...

Naraţiunea se realizează la persoana întâi, din perspectiva lui Sydney, care transpune în stilul clasic Mead, emoţiile şi peripeţiile grupului nostru. Observăm maturizarea şi încrederea ce se naşte între membrii grupului, în special în privinţa lui Sydney, dar şi evoluţia 'relaţiei' dintre Adrian şi Sydney, iar ea nu-l mai priveşte ca pe o creatură diabolică a nopţii.

Personaje:

Sydney Sage- se maturizează încetul cu încetul, devine mai puţin introvertită şi începe să ţină la Jill, Adrian, Eddie şi chiar Angeline. Iar această transformare este descrisă lent şi cu mult tact, dar nu mă aşteptam la mai puţin din partea lui Mead. 
Relaţia pe care o are cu Brayden este o uniune a minţilor, dar nimic mai mult, sentimentele, emoţiile sunt rezervate lui Adrian, lucru ce se poate constata cu uşurinţă de cititor, desigur toţiîl pot vedea mai puţin Sydney. Dar, ea nu este singura care aceste sentimente...

.... Astfel ajungem la Adrian Ivashkov- chiar şi în privinţa lui observăm o maturizare- renunţă la femei, distracţiile cu 'prietenii' lui, chiar şi la ţigări- şi totul se datorează lui Sydney. Dar, observăm cum Adrian renunţă la mitul 'Rose' şi, deşi încă există unele conflicte cu Dimitri, este mai mult decât evident că orgoliul rănit vorbeşte.

Jill...începe o relaţie împreună cu colegul lui Eddie, relaţie sortită eşecului, dar care o ajută să afle pericolele unei astfel de relaţii- expunerea adevăratei ei identităţi.

Eddie... este îndrăgostit de Jill, dar nu crede că poate avea accesul la iubirea ei- ea fiind sora reginei- astfel că va lua o decizie grăbită în final, decizie ce o va implica pe...

Angeline...nechibzuită, impulsivă, prostuţă... ea reprezintă sursa noastră infinită de amuzament, haos, dar este un dhampir curajos şi se va dovedi că este mai mult decât capabilă să o apere pe Jill.

Wolf... nu este un lup, este antrenorul lui Adrian şi al lui Sydney care îi învaţă cum să se protejeze de atacatori. El este un personaj ciudăţel, care antrenează chihuaha în timpul liber pentru a deveni animale de pradă... dap, este complet dus, dar îi va ajuta pe eroi noştri din mai multe puncte de vedere.

Jackie Terwilliger- profesoara/vrăjitoare care o pregăteşte pe Sydney în studiul artelor obscure aka magie.

Verdict final- o continuare superbă a seriei Bloodlines, ce ne aduce în atenţie personaje vechi, dar şi noi, punându-le în situaţii extraordinare, demne de atenţia cititorului! Avem vrăjitoare, moroi, dhampiri, strigoi, vânători de vrăjitoare, etc... aşa că- citiţi cartea!

Notă: 10/5  

Mulţumesc frumos librăriei Books Express pentru oportunitatea de a citi această carte!

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cea mai sigura si rapida livrare!        


Citate:


“I tried to be a better person for her– but it was to impress her, to get her to want me. But when I’m around you, I want to be better because… well, because it feels right. Because I want to. You make me want to become something greater than myself. I want to excel. You inspire me in every act, every word, every glance. I look at you, and you’re like… like light made into flesh. […] You have no clue how beautiful you are or how brightly you shine.”
 

“Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?”
 

“Sage," he said. "What are you wearing?"
I sighed and stared down at the dress. "I know. It's red. Don't start. I'm tired of hearing about it."
"Funny," he said. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at it.”
 

“Day 24. Situation is growing worse. My captors continue to find new and horrific ways to torture me. When not working, Agent Scarlet spends her days examining fabric swatches for bridesmaid dresses and going on about how in love she is. This usually causes Agent Boring Borscht to regale us with stories of Russian weddings that are even more boring than his usual ones. My attempts at escape have been thwarted thus far. Also, I am out of cigarettes. Any assistance or tobacco products you can send will be greatly appreciated.
-Prisoner 24601”
 

“He shouldn't have said that," repeated Adrian, eerily serious. He leaned his face toward mine. "I don't care if he's not the emotional type or the complimentary type or what. No one can look at you in this dress, in all that fire and gold, and start talking about anachronisms. If I were him, I would have said, 'You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth.”
 

“You need me? You yell. You want to leave? We go. I'll get you out of here, no matter what.”
 

“He shook his head. “No. Because there's no one else out there who understands you like I do.”
I waited for more. “That's it? You're not going to elaborate on what that means?”
Those green eyes held me. “I don't think I need to.”
 

“Adrian ordered a martini, earning disapproving looks from his father and me.
"It's barely noon," said Nathan.
"I know," said Adrian. "I'm surprised I held out that long too.”
 

“He reached out and pulled me to him, one hand on my waist and the other behind my neck. He tipped my head up and lowered his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. I was nothing. I was everything. Chills, ran over my skin, and fire burned inside me. His body pressed closer to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Mine responded hungrily, and I tightened my hold on him. His fingers slid down the back of my neck, tracing its shape, and every place they touched was electric.”
 

“Really, Sage? A date?”
I sighed. “Yes, Adrian. A date.”
“A real date. Not, like, doing homework together,” he added.
“I mean like where you go out to a movie or something. And a
movie that’s not part of a school assignment. Or about something boring.”
“A real date.”
 

“You're in an awfully good mood," he observed. "Was there a sale at Khakis-R-Us?”
 

“Nothing he said could change what I think of you. I've had my mind made up about you for a long time... and it's all good.”
 

“I’d mentioned this odd wardrobe choice to Adrian a couple of weeks ago:
“Isn’t Dimitri hot?”
Adrian’s response hadn’t been entirely unexpected:
“Well, yeah, according to most women, at least.”
 

“Ah, those two. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt.”
 

“You made your own jean shorts...with a butter knife?”
 

“Adrian stood there leaning against the doorframe, watching me with his heart in his eyes. In my chest, my own heart was breaking. On my cheek, the lily reminded me who I was. ”
 

“It doesn't matter. Take Eddie's blood. Take Belikov's blood. Take your own for all I care. But If she doesn't want to give hers, then that's all there is to it. She said no. This conversation is done.”
 

“For once, you're going to hear something that doesn't fit into your neat, compartmentalized world of order and logic and reason.”
 

“Isn’t it obvious, Sage? No, of course it isn’t. I did it so I’d have a reason to be around you — one I knew you couldn’t refuse.”
 

“He froze, and for one moment, we stood locked in time. I could feel the silk of his shirt against my skin and the warmth of his body. The lingering scent of the overpriced cologne he wore floated around me. No smoke for a change. I’d always told him the cologne couldn’t be worth what he spent, but suddenly, I reconsidered. It was amazing.”
 

“I know how you guys feel about us. I'm not stupid, and believe me, I've tried to get you out of my head. But there isn't enough liquor or art or any other distraction in the world to do it. I had to stop going to Wolfe's because it was too hard being that close to you, even if it was all just pretend fighting. I couldn't stand the touching. It was agonizing because it meant something to me-and I knew it meant nothing to you. I kept telling myself to stay away altogether, and then I'd find excuses… like the car… anything to be around you again.”
 

“He leaned closer to me and then seemed shocked as he realized what he was doing.

"Why would you do that? Why would you do that for me?”
 

“Too bad you got so bogged down in books. You've got the spirit of a warrior.”
 

“But perhaps the best part of all was that I, Sydney Katherine Sage, guilty of constantly analyzing the world around me, well, I stopped thinking.”
 

“Why not see which is brighter: your aura or the sun?”
 

“Nice blouse, Sage,” Adrian told me, deadpan. “It really brings out the khaki in your pants.”
 

“I find prostitutes vastly important.”
 

“If you went twenty-four hours without cigarettes, I'd drink a can of pop. Regular pop. The whole can."
Isaw the glimmer of Adrian's earlier smile returning. "You would not."
"I totally would."
"Half a can would put you into a coma."
Sonya frowned. "Are you diabetic?" she asked me.
"No," said Adrian, "but Sage is convinced one extraneous calorie will make her go from super skinny to just regular skinny. Tragedy."
"Hey," I said. "You think it’d be a tragedy to go an hour without a cigarette."
"Don’t question my steel resolve, Sage. I went without one for two hours today."
"Show me twenty-four, and then I’ll be impressed."
He gave me a look of mock surprise. "You mean you aren’t already? And here I thought you were dazzled from the moment you met me.”
 

“I wanted someone a little more approachable," I explained.
"What, like Captain McTropicalShorts back there? Where on earth did you find him anyway?"
"Just did an Internet search." Feeling a need to defend my research, I added, "He comes highly recommended."
"By who? Long John Silver?”
 
“You'd give up drinking to go see your dad?"
"Well, not permanently," he said. "That'd be ridiculous. But maybe I could switch to something slightly cheaper for a while. Like...slushes. u know how much I love those? Cherry, especially.”

Losing Hope- Recenzie

Losing Hope- Recenzie

Coperta originală:




Seria:

Sinopsis:


In the follow-up to Colleen Hoover’s #1 New York Times bestseller Hopeless, the charming and irresistible Dean Holder tells the passionate story that has melted thousands of hearts.

In Hopeless, Sky left no secret unearthed, no feeling unshared, and no memory forgotten, but Holder’s past remained a mystery.

Still haunted by the little girl he let walk away, Holder has spent his entire life searching for her in an attempt to finally rid himself of the crushing guilt he has felt for years. But he could not have anticipated that the moment they reconnect, even greater remorse would overwhelm him…

Sometimes in life, if we wish to move forward, we must first dig deep into our past and make amends. In Losing Hope, bestselling author Colleen Hoover reveals what was going on inside Holder’s head during all those hopeless moments—and whether he can gain the peace he desperately needs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Paperback, 321 pages

Published October 8th 2013 by Atria Books (first published July 8th 2013)

original title: Losing Hope

edition language: English


series:Hopeless #2



Recenzie:

Pentru început ar trebui să menţionez faptul că 'Fără Speranţă' a fost una dintre cele mai bune lecturi ale anului 2013- părerea mea- dar sunt convinsă că ştiaţi deja opinia mea, aşa încât am început lectura 'Losing Hope' încredinţată că mă voi bucura de opinia lui Holder în privinţa evenimentelor din 'Hopeless'. M-am înşelat! Atât de mult...
... A FOST GENIALĂ! SUPERBĂ! EXTRAORDINARĂ! Una dintre cele mai bune cărţi pe care le-am citit în viaţa mea! Nu am cuvinte să-mi exprim emoţiile pe care le-am trăit cititnd 'Losing Hope'....
Lăsând la o parte reacţia mea, vă rog să citiţi cât de curând posibil această carte, pentru că sincer este una dintre cele mai bune continuări ale unei serii... să intru în mintea lui Holder a fost incredibil şi mă bucur că am avut această oportunitate, dar să o luăm de la capăt...
 În 'Fără Speranţă', incipitul o introducea în scenă pe Sky şi prietena ei Six, relaţia lor de prietenie şi loialitate, precum şi faptul că reputaţia lui Sky era afectată de Six. Făcând o mică paranteză- m-am întrebat întotdeauna care a fost problema lui Holder cu Grayson, iar în 'Losing Hope' primim toate detaliile acestei 'relaţii'. Mai exact, acesta este incipitul din 'Losing Hope'. Grayson flirtează cu alte fete pe la spatele lui Les, iar Holder află primul despre această situaţie şi-l obligă pe Grayson să se despartă de Les- niciunui frate nu-i place ca propria lui soră să fie încurcată cu un băiat care abuză de încrederea ei în felul acesta, în special dacă luăm în considerare relaţia lor apropiată- şi astfel declanşează, fără voia lui, o decizie teribilă: sinuciderea ei. Sincer, când am ajuns la această parte a romanului, am simţit cum şi inima mea se frângea în acelaşi timp cu a lui Holder. Iar situaţia care urma este... teribilă, Holder încearcă să se refugieze în uitare, dar Less era mereu acolo, murind iar şi iar ...
Unul dintre talentele scriitoarei pe care-l apreciez este că nu se teme să descrie durerea şi suferinţa psihologică ce apare într-o astfel de situaţie, să trateze fără mănuşi consecinţele unei astfel de decizii, aşa încât putem observa puterea dar şi teama lui Holder, mai exact lupta interioară pentru a fi stâlpul de care are nevoie mama lui şi dorinţa de a ceda şi a fugi de toate problemele lui- în cele din urmă cedând...
Dar moartea lui Les nu l-a afectat doar pe Holder, ci şi pe prietena ei cea mai bună, care îşi va găsi consolarea în braţele lui Holder- ' din vina lui Lesslie', aşa cum menţionează Holder în jurnalul lui Lesslie- unul dintre momentele în care cedează şi acţionează prosteşte- şi astfel vor mai urma multe momente prosteşti, dar el nu este complet singur pentru că astfel intră în scenă Daniel, cel mai bun prieten al lui care-i va lua apărarea împotriva răutăţilor şi a zvonurilor tâmpite ce apar odată cu moartea lui Les. Trebuie să recunosc, din acest moment Daniel m-a cucerit complet! Modul în care îl apără pe Daniel, în cantină, punând pe masă (figurativ vorbind) toate zvonurile prosteşti ale fiecărei persoane în parte... ei bine, a fost una dintre cele mai frumoase şi amuzante scene din roman.
Momentul în care Holder o cunoaşte (reîntâlneşte pe Hope) pe Sky este emoţionant şi confuz, pentru el, doarece crede că astfel viaţa îi dăruieşte o nouă şansă să-şi repare greşelile, să încerce a ajuta măcar una dintre fetele din viaţa lui, dar primeşte o nouă lovitură din partea sorţii, cel puţin aşa crede el...
Încetul cu încetul prietenia dintre el şi Sky evoluează într-o frumoasă poveste de dragoste până când el ajunge să nu-şi mai dorească ca Sky să fie Hope.

Romanul are unele capitole scrise sub forma unor scrisori către Lesslie, scrisori ce conţin frustrăriile, dezamagirile, speranţele şi dorintele lui, desigur celelalte capitole prezintă povestea lui din prezent. Naraţiunea se face la persoana întâi, din perspectiva lui Holder.

Personaje:

Dean Holder- personajul masculin principal- este descris ca fiind foarte apropiat de sora lui geamănă, Lesslie, loial prietenului său, Daniel, atent şi grijului cu mama lui şi integrându-se foarte uşor în cercurile sociale din liceu- ei bine, cel puţin până când sora lui se sinucide, atunci viaţa lui se schimbă cu aproape 180 de grade-, izolându-se şi fiind izolat de colegii lui, mama lui suferind propria ei durere, singurul lui stâlp de susţinere rămâne prietenul lui. Dar, odată cu apariţia lui Sky, situaţia se schimbă şi îşi va recăpăta liniştea dorită.

Sky-dulce, amuzantă, curajoasă, puternică şi frumoasă îi întoarce lumea lui Holder pe dos şi reuşeşte să-l înveţe să aibă încerdere în el însuşi şi să iubească din nou.

Daniel- amuzant, interesant, curajos, impulsiv, loial, inteligent şi incredibil de sigur pe el- te cucereşte la prima vedere, iar relaţia dintre el şi Holder este mai asemănătoare cu cea a unor fraţi, capabili să facă orice şi să înfrunte pe oricine, atât timp cât sunt împreună. Este personaj incredibil şi mă bucur că are parte de propria lui poveste în 'Finding Cinderella'.

Verdict Final- o lectură incredibilă care te învaţă că viaţa îţi oferă atât suferinţe cât şi fericire, dar trebuie doar să nu te temi să o iei de la capât atunci când esti pus la pământ. Să nu-ţi fie teamă să iubeşti şi să ierţi...

Nota mea....10/5!
 

Citate:

“I wonder if it's possible for people to fall in love with a person one characteristic at a time, or if you fall for the entire person at once.”
 

“But I’ve learned over the past year what it really means to be able to
miss someone. In order to miss someone, that means you were privileged enough to have
them in your life to begin with.”
 

“All those nights you held me and just let me cry . . . you have no idea how many
times you’ve already saved me.”
 

“I've loved Hope since we were kids. But tonight? Tonight I fell in love with Sky.”
 

“But I'm not falling in love with her piece by piece anymore. I'm in love with the whole girl. Every single piece of her.”
 

“I don't want her to feel nothing when I kiss her. I want her to feel everything.”
 

“What you want to do tonight?

I read Daniel's text and respond.

Sorry. Plans.

WTF, puss flap!? No! Me. You. Plans.

Can't. Pretty sure I have a date.

Sky?

Yep.

Can I come?

Nope.

Can I be your date next Saturday, then?

Sure, babe.

Can't wait, sugar.”
 

“Time has completely stopped, and all I'm thinking about while we kiss is how this is what saves people. Moments like these with people like her are what make all the sufferings worth it.”
 

“I'm gonna go live my life now, Les. A life I'm actually able to look forward to, and I'd honestly thought I'd never be able to say that. Then again, I'd honestly thought I'd always be hopeless, but I find hope every single day.”
 

“I can't explain to you how perfect this girl is. And when I say perfect, I mean imperfect, because there's just too much wrong with her. But everything wrong with her is everything that draws me in and makes her perfect.”
 

“I’m pretty sure it’s too soon to love her, but shit. She’s got to stop doing and saying these unexpected things that make me want to fast-forward whatever’s going on between us. Because I want to kiss her and make love to her and marry her and make her have my babies and I want it all to happen tonight
 

“In order to miss someone, that means you were privileged enough to have them in your life to begin with.”
 

“I used to think the best part of me died with Les, but the best part of me is standing right here in front of me.”
 

“...And I'm not ready to tell you I'm in love with you, because I'm not. Not yet. But whatever this I'm feeling - it's so much more than like...And for the past few weeks I've been trying to figure it out. I've been trying to figure out why there isn't some word to describe it. I want to tell you exactly how I feel but there isn't a single goddamned word in the entire dictionary that can describe this point between liking you and loving you, but I need that word..."
"Living,"she finally whispers.
"I live you, Sky...I live you so much.”
 

“Wait, wait, wait," Breckin says, interrupting the story. "You called her Cinderella? What the hell for?"

Daniel shrugs. "We were in a janitor's closet. I didn't know her name and there were all these mops and brooms and shit and it reminded me of Cinderella, okay? Give me a break.”
 

“I call her Val because it's short for Valium and I always tell her she needs to take that shit by the bucketful. I wasn't lying when I said she was fucking crazy."

“What time should I come stalk you tomorrow?”
“Six-thirty?” She says breathlessly.
“Six-thirty sounds good.” Six-thirty is my new favorite
time of day.”
 

“But everything wrong with her is everything that draws me in and makes her perfect. She’s flat-out rude to me and I love it. She’s stubborn and I love it.”
 

“You did everything you could, but sometimes all the love in the world from mothers and brothers isn't enough to help pull someone out of their nightmare. We just need to accept that things are what they are, and all the guilt and regret in the world can't change that.”
 
 “Devastated should be reserved for mothers”

“As soon as my fingers graze her skin, chills rush down her arms. She tightens her arms over her chest and rubs the chills away. I can’t help but grin, knowing it was my hand on her skin that did that to her. Best. Feeling. Ever.”
 

“Is it racist of me to not really want to hear about your gay sex?”
 

“I want to kiss her so fucking bad but I’m too scared. I’m scared if I kiss her too soon, it’ll feel like every other kiss she’s ever received. She’ll feel nothing.
I don’t want her to feel nothing, when I kiss her. I want her to feel everything.”
 

“I didn't just live her. I love her. I've loved her since we were kids.”
 

“Just seeing her again, even from a distance, reminds meof why I crave to be around her so much. It’s only been a
few days, but since the moment I met her, no matter where I am, I’m constantly wondering about her. My attention is constantly homed in on her like I’m a compass and she’s my North.”
 

“As soon as the words leave her mouth, I'm completely consumed by a sense of peace. For the first time since the second she was taken away from me, I finally know what forgiveness feels like.”
 

“I dip my head and kiss her. I kiss her like she deserves to be kissed. I hold her like she deserves to be held. And I'm about to make love to her like she deserves to be loved.”
 

“You would think a person could only die once. You would think you would only find you sister's lifeless body once. You would think you would only have to watch your mother's reaction once after finding out her only daughter is dead.
Once is so far from accurate.
It happens repeatedly.
Every single time I close my eyes I see Les's eyes. Every time my mother looks at me, she's watching me tell her that her daughter is dead for the second time. For the third time. For the thousandth time. Every time I take a breath or blink or speak, I experience her death all over again. I don't sit here and wonder if the fact that she's dead will ever sink in. I sit here and wonder when I'll stop having to watch her die.”
 

“I don’t remember what it’s like to care enough about life that the thought of death could destroy me”
 
“She doesn’t even tell me it’ll be okay when every single ounce of whatever was left inside my chest is propelled out of me the moment I realize that the very best part of me is dead.”


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